mori76.livejournal.comhola! i'm looking for two older sam/dean fics, by older i mean they weren't written withing the last few months^^
one starts with dean and spike in a bar, then sam and dean end up fighting outside the bar 'cause dean wants to drive but he's drunk. throughout the rest of the fic, sam pushes and pushes dean for reaction, but when dean finally gives him what he's been asking for, sam panics.
the other is darker, more painful. it follows the boys on the road as they gradually come to the stark realization that all they have is each other, that they really are completely alone. it's also a first time fic. sam's on the floor, leaning back against the bed and dean crawls onto his lap and just starts kissing him.
either of these sound familiar?? thanks!
ETA: found, thanks so much!