dean centring

[supernaturalnm.livejournal.com]

hey guys
1.I'm looking for a specific fic in which at the end it is dean's birthday and there are Jim, Missouri, Caleb and john has forgotten to buy dean a gift so Caleb gives his gift to John which is a black journal or notebook i think but then john goes to dean's room and admits that it wasn't his gift and he has forgotten dean's birthday and dean says he knows caz there was a card in the journal or sth.it is really blurry i don't even know if I'm remembering it right.
2.Also any fic in which dean think john loves Sam more than him but then john finds out and tells/shows him he's wrong.