Dean Angst

Apr. 16th, 2017 03:00 pm
[identity profile] luciferinmyhead.livejournal.com
Hey. I'm looking for fics where Dean struggles with guilt over the things he's done in his life and/or he feels like he's not good enough, a failure, a horrible brother/son etc.
Thanks guys.
[identity profile] ljm14.livejournal.com
I'm trying to track down a fic I have only vague memories of. I believe the Js got together in high school, but then someone - maybe Jared's brother Jeff? - found out and threatened Jensen so he took off without a word to Jared. I remember Jared falling apart when Jensen didn't show up for his graduation. Jared gets kind of wild, drinking and smoking pot. I think it's several years before they reconnect, and Jeff helps Jared find Jensen again in the end. Ringing any bells?

ETA: Found! It's For The Love Of Jensen Ackles, link to Mediafire for pdf in comments. Thanks so much all!
Summary: The prompt: A J2 version of The Ugly Duckling. Jensen is the fat kid at school and Jared either bullies him/is his only friend, but because he's younger he doesn't stand up to the bullies. The boys lose touch but meet again in college where Jensen has lost the weight, but is still very self-conscious and shy. Feelings ensue and they go back home to visit Jensen's family/friend and meet up with the bullies
[identity profile] shadowofwonder4.livejournal.com
Im looking for a Pre-Series Wincest story that was deleted from fanfiction.net, called How Do We Deal? by PoeticallyPathetic19.

In it Sam and Dean are in high school two gunmen come into Sam's class that broke out prison. One of them leaves looking for their kid/daughter. The other guy stays in the class and takes Sam and Dean hostage and makes them make-out and do some other stuff (they both secretly like it but are ashamed/guilty). I'm sure Dean was a senior, and he purposely failed so he could stay in school and keep an eye on Sam.

Offical Summary: An incident at school changes everything for the boys. AU. Wincest.

If anbody knows where this story might be posted elsewhere, or has a copy, I would be extremely grateful!  I've been looking for this fic for weeks, and finally found the name/author only to discover it has been deleted.
[identity profile] amberdreams.livejournal.com
rainylemons has deleted their journal, and though there are five long fics on AO3, Brighter Than Sunlight and its sequel aren't there. I was wondering if anyone has a PDF version to share? 
[identity profile] houseofthewest.livejournal.com
1. I'm looking for any established Destiel fics where Dean's family doesn't approve of their relationship for some reason... Mostly along the lines because Cas is an angel but it could be because he is a guy (canon or au) I have read a lot of the ones where John comes back to life and doesn't approve of Dean and Cas together so I'm hoping for other family members such as Mary or her side of the family.

2. Established Destiel where Dean left the family behind (it can be canon or alternate universe) and maybe he reconnects with them later and introduces Cas or they try to find him and realize he is in a relationship with a guy and are shocked or worse.

3. Any really good established relationships Destiel fics really

I would appreciate any help guys, thanks so much!
[identity profile] cmdrtabii.livejournal.com
Hey guys, it's been a while. I'm back with two specific requests, one that I searched for before but never found.

1) crossdressing - Sam and Dean make a bet about something, Sam loses and has to wear a pair of panties, Dean laughs at him and teases him, Sam says something about Dean thinking he's disgusting and gets really upset because he likes wearing the panties. (wincest)

2) suicidal!sam - After Sam finds out he's Lucifer's vessel, he tries to kill himself. Lucifer brings him back but Sam eventually starts committing suicide just to get some rest. This works for a while but eventually the damages start carrying over after he's brought back. (ex. he shoots himself in the head, he's resurrected with a hole in his head; cutting his wrists leaves scars, etc.) (gen, i think)

Thanks for any help!
[identity profile] loockey.livejournal.com
Hi, guys!
I am looking for a specific wincest fic, where Sam forces (kind of) Dean to have sex with him, then they have a fight and and Sam goes to Stanford without telling him. After that Dean stays at Bobby's and stop eating and talking at some point. Then he has some relationship with a hunter that visits Bobby and then I don't actually remember how, but he gets a little better. John comes to take Dean on the hunt. And they continue hinting.

Thanks in advance!
phoenix1966: (Sammy)
[personal profile] phoenix1966
I've been trying to remember the title and author of this one. It would have either been on LiveJournal or Ao3.

It is probably wincest, but I am not completely sure of that. The boys are staying at a place by the sea, I believe, for a case. The "monster" turns out to be a human male who disguises himself as a creature and intentionally scares a young girl badly enough that she falls into the sea. Sam dives in to save her and he ends up smashed into some rocks by the waves and damamging (permanently?) an appendage (I think it was his hand/arm). He has to cling to the rocks and be pulled out.

Any help would be appreciated.
[identity profile] caity78998.livejournal.com
I for one love the episodes when Dean had the Mark Of Cain. Sam was really trying to get rid of it, and Dean was just kinda excepting it. I'm looking for some episodes that base off what Crowley had told Dean about how the mark would make him unwell, and eventually kill him if he doesn't kill in time.
I'd prefer it if Sam is unaware of this effect of the mark, and finds out some reason after Dean collapses, or just gets really sick.
Please no smut, or wincest, or really any kind of relationship besides you know, Sam and Dean's awesome brother bond. Of course I welcome any self recs, and I don't really care how long or short the story is.
I don't mind deathfics, just as long as it's kinda well written, as some deathfics are kinda rushed or something, you know?
(P.S): This doesn't have to be there, but you know what would be cool? If Sam is being kinda mean and selfish about the whole Gadreel deal thing while Dean is getting sicker and sicker. I know, I'm horrible, but you have to admit, it'd be cool to read.
Anyways, thanks to anyone for replying, you don't know how much I appreciate it. :)
[identity profile] ljm14.livejournal.com
Me again, seeking help from those with better recall than mine. I read a fic a few months ago that I simply cannot find it. Jensen had been in a relationship with Jeff, who suddenly ended things. Jensen then meets and egts involved with Jared, who is pretty much Jeff's opposite. Jared is sweet and earnest and loyal, but not sophisticated or worldly, and maybe even still a student? Jeff comes back to town, and Jensen begins getting together with him for dinner and movies and things, neglecting Jared. Then something happens - I think Jared is in an accident? - and Jensen realizes where he really wants to be. I'm sure this is one is blatantly obvious, but I'm just not finding it. Help please!
[identity profile] bound-amalthea.livejournal.com
Hey y'all,
It's a bit alarming, but I went to visit sinful-desire.org for their archive of fics, specifically "Riot Gear" and the entire site has been suspended.
Anyone have a copy of Riot Gear? Or any others off the site? Riot Gear is possibly one of my favourite stories to read.

Thanks,
Bound
[identity profile] ravenkatrina.livejournal.com
I'm looking for J2 fics were one of the boys outs the other; could be set in high school, college, ect. I'm in the mood for angst so the more angst the better but preferably with a happy ending. Can be either short or long I'm not fussed. Thank you!
[identity profile] baby-grl258.livejournal.com
This fic popped into my head the other day and I have had no luck finding it yet, so I'm hoping you guys can help.

In it, Chad and Jensen are in a serious relationship and have been dating for a while, though neither of them are officially out. Jensen is up in Vancouver shooting and has been blowing Chad off who is in LA. Cue angst of Chad putting up with it because he just wants Jensen any ways he can get it. Christian Kane shows up and buddies up with Chad when he see what's going on and how no one is supporting him. Jensen finally gets a clue and there's a confrontation between Chad and him to resolve everything.

Thanks for your help!
[identity profile] caity78998.livejournal.com
I'm looking for some fics where Sam seriously hurts Dean. By this I mean physically, not mentally. The injury could be near death, or just really painful to Dean. Sam might do this by accident, like maybe he screws up on a hunt, or maybe he might want to hurt Dean in some way, but accidentally takes it too far, such as maybe Sam and Dean are in one of their fights, and Sam hits Dean too hard, or possibly he might do something really serious like stab or shoot Dean whilst in a really angry mood. Any of these would be amazing, or any other suggestions. I don't mind pre series fics, and I don't mind Castiel or other characters in it, as long as it is mainly based on Sam and Dean. No love or smut, especially no Cas/Dean or Dean/Sam pairing, all just Sam hurts Dean, and NO DEATH FICS! I know, I'm a horrible person, I just love these kind of fics. for a bonus, maybe Dean doesn't tell Sam how badly he is hurt, until he collapses or something, and Sam is guilty as hell. Thanks in advance! :)
[identity profile] kaijinscendre.livejournal.com
I recently read Redemption Arc by galaxysoup. And it has me craving Castiel-centric fics.

I am especially looking for hurt/comfort and whump (abuse is fine). Castiel with mental illnesses (depression, PTSD) or phsyical disabilities (injuries, deaf, blindness). Fics similar to Redemption Arc would be great.

Any pairings except wincest are fine (wincestiel is okay). Happy endings preferable.
[identity profile] jesterdala.livejournal.com
The fic I'm looking for was from Sam's POV and was fairly long. There was a lot of Sam who was in high school pining for Dean who I don't think was. I remember two scenes clearly.

1) Sam and his girlfriend call Dean from the high school bathroom stall they're hiding in because someone's running around the school with a gun. Dean gets to the school and runs in and finds Sam and the OFC in the bathroom. Dean may have fought the shooter, but I can't remember. They all get out safely.

Second scene )
[identity profile] 4hb1m.livejournal.com
I'm looking for any stories where Sam says or does something mean to Dean when he's drunk (or on drugs or grieving or something). Would prefer if he realizes and is sorry later, but that's not necessary. Thanks!

Kidnapped

Jan. 6th, 2017 11:12 pm
[identity profile] brokenbirdsong.livejournal.com
I am looking for any fics where Sam has been kidnapped by someone and then when he is found, he has to go through some sort of therapy - physical therapy, counselling, things like having to learn something again - because of the trauma he went through during the time he was kidnapped or because of an injury. It is the aftermath that I am particularly interested in, and is why I am asking for something with Sam having to have treatment of a certain kind.

If anyone can recommend any fics, that'd be great. Thanks!
[identity profile] riveroceansea.livejournal.com
It's been years since I've read this fic, probably back to at least '07 or '08. All I can remember was that the boys were on their own when they find out about the 9/11 attacks. I don't remember if John was showed up later or not. I'm almost positive it was between 5,000 and 10,000 words and I read it here on LJ.

Thanks for the help, everyone.
[identity profile] hillz-85.livejournal.com
I've searched for this fic once before but didn't get any results a few years ago, and it's sprung to my mind again and is now driving me crazy trying to find it so I figured I'd try again. This is definitely an older fic (I'm thinking probably around 2007/8) and is longer one...

I'm not 100% sure if it's a curse or a spell but Sam gets either sent back in time or to an alternate universe where there is another Dean and Sam - the two Sams swap consciousness but still retain their own appearances. In the past/alternate universe, Dean thinks Sam is insane as he is speaking of a different Dean and the future and possibly demons so he sends him to an asylum where he is very much mistreated. He's kept in isolation and chains practically 24/7.

I remember two specific scenes where he is being bathed/tortured, and another where Dean goes to visit him and he is very withdrawn and gaunt, and his hands are covered with a shawl to hide the chains/bruising. He begs Dean to take him home and Dean sees the chains, but he is convinced that his brother is violent which is why he needs the chains... Sam ends up escaping or being rescued by Bobby, and cared for by Jess who is Bobbys daughter... In the present time Dean and Sam from the past try to work out what happened and break the spell/curse to return them to their own timelines...

If anyone knows this specific fic it would be very much appreciated! I'd also like some recommendations along these types of stories & themes.

Thanks!

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